What is a Friend to You?

I was just thinking the other night about how many times I have moved over the years. I recall all of the times that me and my friends would say, "lets keep in touch." (either through letters or a phone call). How often do you think that happened? I remember that there were several times that I would write endless letters and would occasionally get one back. I soon never got any letters written back. In the end I gave up and moved on to what I thought were new friends. Each time I moved it was the same thing. I eventually ended up just like them, saying I would keep in touch and never did. In my later years I started to realize that I never kept any friends for good. When I was a teenager I had a set of friends. they were always there for me. When I moved I tried to keep in touch. I didn't want to loose the first set of best friends I ever had. We would hang out, but usually only if I drove up there. There were even a few times I made the effort to go up there and would get ditched. My friends came to my house all of two times in the three years I had moved. Life got busy and we grew farther apart. One friend was really busy in school and I would occasionally call her and sometimes she would call me back. Eventually I gave up on trying to be the only one calling. Don't get me wrong I still consider her a friend and will a few times a year try to call her and once in a while she will call me back. the other friend I lost to drugs. She then would only call me to see if she could use me for a ride or a run to the hospital at 3-5 in the morning. It broke my heart when I finally had to ignore her calls. I have now noticed a repeated pattern of trying to keep in touch with people via e-mail. I will write notes to them and never hear back except getting the chain e-mails. I eventually give up and then once in a blue moon they ask what is going on and I get excited and start to write again. Once they hear what is going on I cease to hear from them again. Life gets really fast pace and I know people can't keep in touch like they used to, but once in a while it is nice to hear from other people.

So, last night I starting thinking about all of this and was feeling a little lonely. Can you believe that I feel lonely when I am married and have a baby? I guess it sounds kind of funny. Anyway I started thinking about what a real friend is to me. A real friend is someone who forgives you of your mistakes. A real friend gives you a chance to apologize if they have wronged you. I hate it when a person wont talk to you about something that you did to hurt their feelings. Most of the time a person is unaware of it and is just wondering why you are mad at them. A real friend takes at least five minutes even if it is only once a month to tell you what is going on in their life whether it be by a phone call, e-mail, or comment on your blog. A real friend accepts your opinion even when they don't always agree. A real friend is willing to share their differences and be open to yours as well. A real friend will just sit and listen to you when you are having a hard time. To me a real friend wont break a promise and if they do they apologize. A real friend tells you the truth even if they think it might hurt your feelings. I know I would always rather hear the truth than keep doing the wrong thing. I know that life gets busy and a person can't be there 24/7, but it is nice to know that you are cared about. ti is nice to hear from someone even if it is once a week or once a month.

Looking at this list I know that Dave is my best friend. He is, however, stuck with me, but he loves me just the same. So then I ask myself why do I still feel lonely sometimes? I guess in being a mother and a wife I sometimes feel like I don't have anything for myself. I guess I just want someone there for me that I don't constantly have to look after. Don't get me wrong I love taking care of my son and husband. I don't know if this really makes sense. Does anyone else ever miss having a friend there for you outside of the home? maybe I am just being silly, but it is good to evaluate myself and see if there is something that I need to change so people will want to be around me. What is a real friend to you?

Does anyone ever think about how many people would attend their funeral if they died? I know it sounds morbid, but I just wonder how many people I have really effected or that really care about me. When I was in the Relief Society Presidency I remember seeing people that were hermits. They didn't even have family that visited them. I felt so sorry for them. I guess I am luckier than most in knowing that at least my family really cares for me. They are always there for me when I really need it. I guess I have more best friends than I realized. Venting does a world of good for me. I usually, at the end of it all, can see the positive side to things. Thanks to those who read about me venting and let me know that they are the same to.