My husband works at a private school for troubled teens. He is always telling me stories and telling me how the kids never accept their mistakes and blame shift them to others. There are times that I sit and think, "Why don't people just accept responsibility for their own life and mistakes?"
Today I find myself a hypocrite and blaming my problems on others. Is anyone ever equally responsible for a problem, but find a way to cast more blame at the other person?
Our son is now getting into everything and is is getting a little out of control. Dave recently put locks onto our desk cabinets, because Kimball would just open them and pull everything out. Off and on Dave has opened the desk cabinet, left it open, and then leaves the keys in the door as well. I usually just lock it up and put the keys back where they belong.
My sister borrowed our camera to take pics. for work. She needed me to upload them and then save them to a disc this morning. While uploading the pics Kimball opened the left cabinet that Dave left unlocked. He also left the keys in the door. I cleaned everything up and locked the door. I left the keys in the lock thinking Kimball can't get them out, but can jingle them.
I went back to uploading the pics. and put them into a file. I went to get into the right cabinet, where the computer itself is locked up. I realized I need the keys and went to get them. I realized they were gone! I tore the house up looking for the keys. What did Kimball do with them? I got more and more mad at Dave for not locking the door last night and putting the keys away. I was starting to fume. I left him e-mails that weren't very nice explaining my dilema.
Once I calmed down I realized I was the dummy that left them in the key hole to let Kimball play with. I did, and still do feel ashamed for getting so upset. Now whose blame shifting?
I did talk to him later and appologized and sent him another apology via e-mail. What was he going to be able to do anyway. He was at work. Please tell me others have their moments. The funny thing is I still have not found those dang keys. I hope Kimball didn't eat those dang keys. As far as my sister's pics go we were able to send them via e-mail to Incklys.
Today I find myself a hypocrite and blaming my problems on others. Is anyone ever equally responsible for a problem, but find a way to cast more blame at the other person?
Our son is now getting into everything and is is getting a little out of control. Dave recently put locks onto our desk cabinets, because Kimball would just open them and pull everything out. Off and on Dave has opened the desk cabinet, left it open, and then leaves the keys in the door as well. I usually just lock it up and put the keys back where they belong.
My sister borrowed our camera to take pics. for work. She needed me to upload them and then save them to a disc this morning. While uploading the pics Kimball opened the left cabinet that Dave left unlocked. He also left the keys in the door. I cleaned everything up and locked the door. I left the keys in the lock thinking Kimball can't get them out, but can jingle them.
I went back to uploading the pics. and put them into a file. I went to get into the right cabinet, where the computer itself is locked up. I realized I need the keys and went to get them. I realized they were gone! I tore the house up looking for the keys. What did Kimball do with them? I got more and more mad at Dave for not locking the door last night and putting the keys away. I was starting to fume. I left him e-mails that weren't very nice explaining my dilema.
Once I calmed down I realized I was the dummy that left them in the key hole to let Kimball play with. I did, and still do feel ashamed for getting so upset. Now whose blame shifting?
I did talk to him later and appologized and sent him another apology via e-mail. What was he going to be able to do anyway. He was at work. Please tell me others have their moments. The funny thing is I still have not found those dang keys. I hope Kimball didn't eat those dang keys. As far as my sister's pics go we were able to send them via e-mail to Incklys.
3 comments:
Forgiveness is a wonderful thing. We ALL need it-usually daily, if not hourly, from our spouses. Don't beat yourself up. Live and learn :D
My students are pros at blaming others. In fact, in study skills, we have lessons on internal vs. external behavior control.
mammia- Forgiveness is amazing. thanks
kristen-I know that kids that are troubled often do that. I know I am not that bad, but I guess I was just saying that we can tend to shift the blame at times as well.
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