Ageing Sometimes Scares Me!

At the risk of sounding shallow I must say that growing old scares me. Don't get me wrong...aging can be a beautiful thing, but also a terrifying thing. When working in the hospital I came across some amazing elderly people. I also have happened upon some very sad and lonely elderly people. I love the stories that they have to tell about growing up and things that they have learned along the way. I love how wise they are.

What scares me are things like Alzheimer’s, Dementia, being confined to a wheel chair, or just living in a once active body that now falls apart, or dieing lonely cause no one will visit you.

I have for some time been wanting to go to my grandparents and some elderly people in our ward and do recordings of oral histories. I decided to start with my grandma and grandpa Andrus, cause my grandma has Dementia and my grandpa has Alzheimer's. So yesterday I decided I can't put it off any longer and called them to see if I could come down. My sweet grandma couldn't remember who I was and I tried very hard not to cry. I am not by any means offended, but I am sad especially because she gets upset, cause she still realizes that she has a bad memory problem. It is very interesting what she can and can't remember. A month or so ago my niece Megan had to get tested at Primary children's cause she had a Seizure. My grandma remembered that when my mom went to visit and she wanted to know how she was doing. Happily Megan turned out just fine. Now around the same time my brother Mike was in the hospital. My grandma remembered someone being in the hospital and then she said, "oh yes Mike is in the hospital Denille. Did you know that?" My mom said yes, momma he is my son. My grandma spat back at her saying no he's not! It took some convincing before my grandma remembered he was Denille's son.


here are my sweet grandparents

Once I got there I was relieved that they remembered me. When I told them what I wanted to do they were very excited. That made me even more excited. my little sister was there with me and my uncle John and mom showed up as well. It was nice to have John and my mom there, cause they had grandma tell some stories that they remembered hearing as kids. Grandma couldn't remember all her stories unless reminded so it was nice.

It is kinda funny when she will tell the same story five different times, but sad too. It was kinda funny when we asked about their wedding day and my grandma said she couldn't remember, but they went to the temple. My uncle John asked what she was doing the night before her wedding day and She thought he said the night of and looked at him in disgust and said, "That is none of your business!" We all had a good laugh at that one. The fun really came when she would all of the sudden just remember and started telling stories. I just started and I am already having lots of fun learning about their childhood.

I love learning about history of the elderly. However I am afraid of getting old and forgetting my family and life. My cousin Tammy was telling me that her Grandpa, one of the most active men you will ever meet, is now confined to a wheel chair, sick and just waiting to die. I guess it is stuff like that, that scares me. Is that shallow, me just being pitiful or normal?